I was on the way to meet my sister for lunch the other day. I was speeding along the parkway (don’t tell the park police) and had gone about a half mile from my house when I realized that the car was shaking a little. I looked to the dash to see if there was anything amiss. The parking brake indicator light was shining like a blinding flash of the obvious. Sure enough, the brake handle was sticking up between the seats and I hadn’t even noticed.
HMMM…doesn’t that seem like real life sometimes? We are traveling at break neck speeds toward some particular goal without taking the parking brake off. We start to hear the clicks, the clatters and feel the shakes just a little at first and then more and more pronounced as the trip continues. Sure, we normally seem to get to the destination, maybe even on time…but what is the wear and tear on ourselves in the process?
Thus, Today’s entry is to urge you (ok – it is really to urge myself) to release the parking brake.
It is amazing what a smooth ride I had once I released the brake. Releasing the brake wasn’t hard. The real trick was in noticing that it was still on. But, even then, all I had to do to was listen to the subtle differences from when the ride is effortless, efficient and maybe even EASY and then started to investigate the potential causes.
On a twist of the old saying we teach kids for crossing the street, I listened, I looked and then I stopped the behavior that no longer made sense.
That is what we should do in all aspects of our lives. 1) Listen to the inner wisdom for information, 2) Look for potential causes or solutions, and 3) Release the obstacles, old patterns or anything that is putting brakes on the actions that will get us efficiently, easily and effortlessly to our true destination.
What brake do you need to release today?
Monday, April 21, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Vows of Unconditional Love
Scandals. Scandals. The public can’t get enough of scandals. And if the scandal includes sex or drugs, then we fall all over ourselves to read more about it. It seems just when the news and political cartoons have just died down from the last scandal, another one hits us in the pituitary.
Recently, the pundits have focused on the spouse in these situations. Is it appropriate for the dutiful spouse to stand next to her man through think, thin, gay and wide stances? Why is it that instead of admiring the women for supporting their spouses, we tend to criticize them for being a little too Loretta Lynn – esque? We could explore the motivations regarding the reason each of the women stand by their men, but really shouldn’t that be left to each of her own meditations or therapist’s couch?
Instead, we should appreciate, at least on the face of it, that each of these spouses is standing by the vow they took at their wedding; to love and honor in good times and in bad. Isn’t unconditional love supposed to be UNCONDITIONAL? Or does unconditional love only apply when it is reasonable for unconditional love to apply…like when the other loves you unconditionally back?
Please do not think I am advocating staying in an abusive relationship or even a relationship that no longer serves you because you think that is what I mean by unconditional love. First and foremost, you must feel unconditional love for yourself. Not allowing someone to have power over you or you no longer exerting power over another is one of the first steps to showing yourself unconditional love.
I am more trying to point out the juxtaposition that society has with its marriage vows. We are suppose to love, honor and cherish our spouse until society determines that they aren’t worthy of that trust. And then he / she should stand alone to face the music. It may be appropriate for the “scandalous” spouse to be interviewed by the media alone.
But, society seems to treat the other spouse as if she is vapid for supporting her husband. Isn’t that Unconditional Love?
If a person has unconditional love for another, why do we bother with the vows in the first place? If I love my man unconditionally, do I need a vow to get me to support him through thick and thin? Vows are fear based, not love based. I fear that after 10 years, my love will find another and leave me without a way to support myself, without medical insurance, without a place to live. Thus, I expect a vow to ensure that I have recourse when the relationship goes south.
In these high profile cases, do you suppose that it is even more difficult to be kicked out of the White House when your spouse has forgotten one of the fear based vows he made during his wedding ceremony? And do you suppose that your eventual bid for the White House might be forestalled by no longer being married to said spouse and having his secret service detail remove your “delicates” from the First Lady’s Bedroom?
We make the vows during the wedding ceremony because society hasn’t evolved to the place where it believes in, let alone experiences, unconditional love. We have the vows to protect ourselves and our offspring from the lack of unconditional or even conditional love from another.
Whether the “wronged” spouse is truly feeling unconditional love or simply trying to save face amongst the media feeding frenzy, we should not judge how unconditional support is shown. We may all be just one scandal away from hoping our support system is unconditional both in and out of the public eye.
Recently, the pundits have focused on the spouse in these situations. Is it appropriate for the dutiful spouse to stand next to her man through think, thin, gay and wide stances? Why is it that instead of admiring the women for supporting their spouses, we tend to criticize them for being a little too Loretta Lynn – esque? We could explore the motivations regarding the reason each of the women stand by their men, but really shouldn’t that be left to each of her own meditations or therapist’s couch?
Instead, we should appreciate, at least on the face of it, that each of these spouses is standing by the vow they took at their wedding; to love and honor in good times and in bad. Isn’t unconditional love supposed to be UNCONDITIONAL? Or does unconditional love only apply when it is reasonable for unconditional love to apply…like when the other loves you unconditionally back?
Please do not think I am advocating staying in an abusive relationship or even a relationship that no longer serves you because you think that is what I mean by unconditional love. First and foremost, you must feel unconditional love for yourself. Not allowing someone to have power over you or you no longer exerting power over another is one of the first steps to showing yourself unconditional love.
I am more trying to point out the juxtaposition that society has with its marriage vows. We are suppose to love, honor and cherish our spouse until society determines that they aren’t worthy of that trust. And then he / she should stand alone to face the music. It may be appropriate for the “scandalous” spouse to be interviewed by the media alone.
But, society seems to treat the other spouse as if she is vapid for supporting her husband. Isn’t that Unconditional Love?
If a person has unconditional love for another, why do we bother with the vows in the first place? If I love my man unconditionally, do I need a vow to get me to support him through thick and thin? Vows are fear based, not love based. I fear that after 10 years, my love will find another and leave me without a way to support myself, without medical insurance, without a place to live. Thus, I expect a vow to ensure that I have recourse when the relationship goes south.
In these high profile cases, do you suppose that it is even more difficult to be kicked out of the White House when your spouse has forgotten one of the fear based vows he made during his wedding ceremony? And do you suppose that your eventual bid for the White House might be forestalled by no longer being married to said spouse and having his secret service detail remove your “delicates” from the First Lady’s Bedroom?
We make the vows during the wedding ceremony because society hasn’t evolved to the place where it believes in, let alone experiences, unconditional love. We have the vows to protect ourselves and our offspring from the lack of unconditional or even conditional love from another.
Whether the “wronged” spouse is truly feeling unconditional love or simply trying to save face amongst the media feeding frenzy, we should not judge how unconditional support is shown. We may all be just one scandal away from hoping our support system is unconditional both in and out of the public eye.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Snow Falling
As I watch the snow fall during rush hour in the city, I am reminded how like wisdom snow flakes are. I don’t see it so much as us being the warm ground ready to integrate and embrace the snow flakes of wisdom into our lives. Instead, we are the harsh ground hoping to eliminate the unwelcome advice of the universe before we have a chance to enjoy the beauty. We don’t want to alter our habits and our plans for the evening. In fact, this life giving moisture is seen as inconvenient at a minimum; do we have plenty of bottled water, milk and toilet paper (and wine, if you are in my house) in case the electricity goes off? I am never quite sure how the toilet paper is suppose to help if the electricity goes out, but if conventional wisdom says to buy it, we do. And at its extreme, at least on the days we need to commute, the snow is threatening, a burden and potentially has the power to kill. (At least that is how the headlines would read…”5 killed in freak snow storm.”)
Aren’t new ideas (aka wisdom) seen as inconvenient? “I am going to have to learn something new? Didn’t I learn everything I was suppose to in Kindergarten, anyway?” Oh we allow ourselves, grudgingly in some cases, to learn new technologies, new techniques, but do we really open ourselves up to new ideas and concepts? “If my mother didn’t tell me about it, well then, it probably doesn’t need to be learned.” OK – I learned a heck of a lot, both practically and spiritually from my mother, but I am willing to admit (as would she) that there are plenty of other teachers out there who might have another piece to help me complete my puzzle.
If we don’t embrace the wisdom when it is falling slowly, lovely and silently from the heavens…If we don’t get it when the wisdom is gentle, then we may only open ourselves up to the wisdom when it is piled high and terrifying. Just like the snow during the afternoon commute, the wisdom will eventually take hold. The only question is whether we will embrace it and be an early adopter; enjoying the benefits of the secrets the universe has for us and all? Or will we be late comers to the new information? It doesn’t matter which we are. There is no judgment from the wisdom. It is simply a matter of how joyful is our commute home.
Being prepared for the snow may be as easy as being open to the gentle wisdoms; integrate the snow flakes as they fall into our conscious awareness. Shovel as you go along and have the cork screw ever at the ready. Then, do as the teenagers do: pray for a snow day.
Aren’t new ideas (aka wisdom) seen as inconvenient? “I am going to have to learn something new? Didn’t I learn everything I was suppose to in Kindergarten, anyway?” Oh we allow ourselves, grudgingly in some cases, to learn new technologies, new techniques, but do we really open ourselves up to new ideas and concepts? “If my mother didn’t tell me about it, well then, it probably doesn’t need to be learned.” OK – I learned a heck of a lot, both practically and spiritually from my mother, but I am willing to admit (as would she) that there are plenty of other teachers out there who might have another piece to help me complete my puzzle.
If we don’t embrace the wisdom when it is falling slowly, lovely and silently from the heavens…If we don’t get it when the wisdom is gentle, then we may only open ourselves up to the wisdom when it is piled high and terrifying. Just like the snow during the afternoon commute, the wisdom will eventually take hold. The only question is whether we will embrace it and be an early adopter; enjoying the benefits of the secrets the universe has for us and all? Or will we be late comers to the new information? It doesn’t matter which we are. There is no judgment from the wisdom. It is simply a matter of how joyful is our commute home.
Being prepared for the snow may be as easy as being open to the gentle wisdoms; integrate the snow flakes as they fall into our conscious awareness. Shovel as you go along and have the cork screw ever at the ready. Then, do as the teenagers do: pray for a snow day.
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